Updated 03:54 PM EDT, Sat, Nov 02, 2024

R. Kelly to Release Christmas Album With 'A Lot of Lovemaking'

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What better way to spread the holiday cheer than engaging in a little bump and grind? Nothing says Merry Christmas like “let’s make sweet, tender love.” And to help make your holiday season a bit sexier, R. Kelly is prepping a Christmas album. Joy to the World!

Although R. Kelly did just drop his new album “Black Panties,” he’s gung ho about releasing a Christmas album just in time for Christmas, next year that is. He’s been working on the Christmas record for the past couple years and is confident that it will be ready in time for Christmas 2014. Imagine, you’ve just finished opening your presents, your on your third glass of eggnog, and then R. Kelly pipes in with a seductive rendition of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Pure bliss.

“It’s going to be a lof of lovemaking,” he says in an interview with Rap-Up, which you can watch in its entirety below. “I come with that bearing gifts.”

In addition to “The 12 Nights of Christmas” album, Kelly claims to have seven or eight albums in the works. His next non-Christmas album will be “another ‘12 Play’ album,” he says. “There’s been a lovemaking drought, if you will, per my fans, and I’ve come to save the day.” Thank God.

R. Kelly is also hard at work on his Rap Opera, or Hip-Hopera if you will, titled “Trapped in the Closet.” He recently announced that he plans to debut its next installment on IFC next year. In a press release, Kelly promises “more chapters filled with intense drama, crazy situations and tumultuous relationships” for “this epic saga with more secrets, infidelity and unyielding passion to save their relationships.” More of the same, basically.

The most recent chapters aired at the end of 2012, but now after a two year hiatus, Sylvester, Rufus, Cathy, Tina, Roxanne, Rosie the Nosy Neighbor, Randolph, Twan, Pimp Lucius, Dr. Perry, Reverend Moseley, and Beeno will all return, reuniting a lovely and colorful collection of characters.

R. Kelly is on a tear. Lock your windows and close your doors.

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